Turn your mess into your mission, your pain into your passion

As they say- "Turn your mess into your mission, your pain into your passion."

Unfortunately, my experience with birth + postpartum care was less than ideal. I experienced many unprofessional and disrespectful interactions throughout my pregnancy and birth with midwives and hospital staff. I struggled with integrating this trauma and it had a direct correlation to feelings of depression + anxiety in my postpartum days. Taking care of a new babe is challenging enough, adding birth trauma and stress can be a colossal feat.

I could have greatly benefited from the care of a doula. I needed someone during my birth to advocate for me. I needed someone to educate and explain my options. I needed someone in the room who had my best interest in mind, who believed in my strength and who was able to simplify the details of what was happening around me.

During my birth I activated a trauma response called 'fawning'. Most people are aware of the fight, flight or freeze trauma responses, the 4th response is called fawn. It's a strategy we unconsciously learn to get ourselves out of trouble. A few of the signs are: not being able to express how you truly think or feel, overly apologizing, focusing on others needs before your own. Unconsciously engaging in these behaviours as an effort to survive in the moment.

I was deep into this trauma response during my birth. Saying please and thank you in a very desperate way. Not able to make educated choices, not able to set boundaries or advocate for myself. Having a doula in the room would have, could have made a world of difference. Back then, I didn't really know what a doula was. I also thought the cost was unnecessary. Let me rephrase that "I didn't think I was worthy of the care I needed + deserved. Thus I did not advocate or invest in a doula."

Having a doula may not have changed a single detail of my birth; however, a doula would have provided a kind, loving and educated presence. An accepting ear to listen + support the integration of the experiences I endured and a soft place to land.

I am here to serve, witness and support Okanagan families. I am passionate about women + families receiving the care they need and deserve from a loving and educated place. If you are interested, please reach out. I offer a sliding scale for families who experience a barrier with cost. Let's connect and discuss how I can support your optimal, respectful and empowered birth experience."

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Wednesday, 10 August 2022

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